Your Ex is not your child’s Ex
DK Simoneau is famous for this quote, and her book, “We’re Having a Tuesday”, published in 2006. If I could make every parent going through a divorce sit down and read this book together, I would. The book is written from a child’s perspective of going back and forth between two homes, missing her Dad when she is with Mom, and Mom when she is with Dad. She has a little brother, and his crazy, lovable behavior to deal with. She is missing her little things left at Dad’s house, and she is missing little things left at Mom’s house. I rarely see both parents understand the importance of little things to their child. It really matters if they have their favorite teddy bear, backpack and sweatshirt. It really matters that they miss small things that Dad does (reads their favorite book), and they miss the small things that Mom does (maybe she cooks the best waffles). This means I rarely see both parents even think much about their children during a divorce. The worst is knowing that I’m “preaching to the choir” putting this out there. But, on the off-chance that I catch someone’s eye and make them stop and think, I’ll put this out there anyway.
Parents, (absent obvious circumstances) you should always keep a family unit in place after a divorce, and even if you are remarried. It’s cruel what I see children go through and the legal system is not built to handle it. The legal system certainly cannot undo the harm you do when you speak ill of your ex, or battle one another in court, just because you can, or you need to be “right”. Judges and family lawyers can’t fix the broken hearts of children caught in the middle of a horrible divorce.