Anger. We all feel it. After all, we are only human. But, there is no place for it in the legal system so far as I can tell. It seems best to write your angry email, wait 24-48 hours, and hit delete. Or wait and send a note that is to the point and polite. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Lawyers can spend a lot of their retainer money writing angry letters back and forth. At the end of the day, most Judges can’t figure out who is “right” or “wrong”, its usually not relevant, nor do they have time. Judges seem to see a lot of unproductive chatter.
“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough”
Taking any legal path is challenging, for you and your lawyer. This is especially true when you face a turn not anticipated. There are few straight forward answer. Your case(s), be it divorce, a civil or criminal matter (or all three at the same time), is ever changing. How do you handle this? Sometimes it feels like the liars and cheats of the world “win”. For the most part, they don’t. But, the challenge can be relentless at times, over years. You need to rely on your life experience, honesty, and dignity. This even in the face of others who are not conducting themselves accordingly. This is famous quote, but I think of it all the time.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
The more years I practice, the more I see. Oftentimes, I think I know every angle. Then a colleague, client or Judge points something out and the entire perspective changes. Good, bad, or indifferent, I try to learn from it.
So, today some food for thought~
“Sometimes what looks like falling apart is actually everything falling into place”
Happy Father’s Day.
Dads, in Utah, a 50/50 custody arrangement is recognized by law as best for children if possible. Don’t be fooled by lawyers claiming to uphold “father’s rights” as if you need that. You don’t. You just need a good lawyer.
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house”
– Lewis Grizzard
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one”
The legal system is a different world. Coping skills you may have developed in life may not serve you well. This is especially true in a divorce, or in any case involving children. Focus on being a good person and a good parent. Keep your behavior and temper in line with that goal. Even in the most contentious of cases, there is no other way to succeed.
“Divorce is a time of change. It really rocks the foundation of most people’s lives. When we have our hearts broken or our dreams taken away from us, it is a time of growth and change.”
I meet people at some of the worst times in their life. I have found that a few simple words can help someone through their next hour, day, week or more. The words can be wise or funny, thoughtful or interesting. So, entering into my 25th year of practicing law, I will start to put the quotes I find helpful onto my website. I hope they will help someone.
“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” Eleanor Roosevelt